When someone is being rigid and inflexible, they may be attacking you with blaming statement and positions that causes confrontations, in those moments remind yourself to:

  • Be confident on understanding the other's perspectives, in which is different from yours - Hence avoid attacking back
  • Listen carefully...and ACTIVELY. The other person must need to feel heard and understood (The attack may be a "cry for attention" - give it to them)
  • Shift the interaction from competitive to cooperative. Acknowledge the different perspectives and explain the parts of the truthful facts there are
  • Focus on how can you both work together - Similarities into achieving the relationship goals are important to be mentioned
  • You need to stay calm! Frustrations need to be used creatively, hence patience is a must
  • Be warm and respectful - People recognize those and may be lenient into giving you the same

Blaming must be an easy fix that many people look to when there is no one taking responsibility, or they may not to be taken accountable, or they are afraid, or they are just not aware of the mysterious things that are happening that one doesn't know... Blame could be done and said, yet it is just building a negative interaction with whomever it is, hence it will not be a relationship that one wants to cherish. 

Do an experiment... Ask the closest person you have in your daily lives and ask them to tell you when you are using blame or even complaining. How many times will you do it in a week, 3 days, or even one day? - Be aware that you have to be ready to hear the unexpected, be aware that you also asked for it, then when your loved one tell you those answers s/he has nothing to be blamed for!

I am here to help you to help yourself... Let me know how can I assist!

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